the crunch time

my books have not arrived yet...i need them by friday before i start traveling...

anyhow...i am spending more time at work than usual...it's the late evening work that gets me more productive. quiet, less stress. no buzzing sound of people complaining at the back..

anyhow..here's my current condition. it's just under maintenance with lots of nivea cream. i can't wear the olive oil or oil based product to work. i need to rush to work and i can't be smelling like olive or get stain on my clothes. i work in the ermm...frontlline if you may call it.

i am still taking the olivenol liquid diligently. i will not give up hope and i need to be strong.
i am fasting quite a bit lately to detox. hopefully it will work.

as to avoiding milk - i need to get a clearer picture if i should avoid totally. as i must have milk once a day....can't wait to read my book!

anyhow..have a good week ahead everyone!
happy deepavali to those who are celebrating. yummy maruku!

another week..

it's another long stressful week at work. i love what i do. but it's too stressful for me.
the skin is flaring. it's so obvious stress trigger it more than anything....

i am trying not to be stressed. but there are way too much to do and so little time....

anyhow..i never miss my olivenol intake daily. it's been a little over a month and although i haven't seen big improvements i am still hopeful..

groceries shopping

i know it's a little beyond 11 pm now but i have just a little more work to finish.


anyhow...i went grocery shopping with mom earlier, i got myself a week of supply of:

1) fish - the types i eat as i'm quite a picky fish-eater
2) tofu
3) Vegetables - organic grown
4) Yogurt - i am aspiring to have yogurt for breakfast daily ...

today will also hopefully be the last day i am eating chicken as a dish...at least for the next month or so. i am praying that i will be patient enough...

i have also just bought the highly recommended book "Healing Psoriasis, The Natural Alternative by Dr John O A Pagano" on amazon and hope to get the book in a week's time. :)

as i will be traveling overseas for work in a couple week's time it would be good to have a good book to read. the question is how do i read it subtly at airport and on the plane without anyone asking "Do you have Psoriasis?"

LOL/

good night everyone, have a good week ahead!
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p/s : as for my condition today - i am using way too much nivea cream to moisturize. if my skin gets dry especially my back i will start scratching.... i realize i am spending quite a bit for creme! i need to find an alternative, cheaper moisturizer as effective as this rich creme....any suggestions?

my sleeping time

when i was in secondary school, particularly in form 4 and form 5, i had so much trouble getting quality sleep at night. i was very uptight and was an introvert who couldn't care less about anything that goes around - except about doing well in school. that was the early days of my insomnia...

when i went over to university i had a very active lifestyle. and never had problem sleeping anytime i want.

then...came working life...that's also the beginning of my P journey...
my sleeping cycle was distorted - especially during the days when i am too tired and mentally drained at work. i'd be lucky to get about 3-4 hours of quality sleepat each night.

for now..i force myself to sleep by 11pm. sometimes it stretches till 12.
but after the email from ManHon, i will try the next 2 weeks to ensure even how busy i am, i must sleep at 11 p.m.

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ManHon has also forwarded an email from a P patient whose condition has improved significantly with olivenol, fish oil and less meat diet. i think i can try fish oil soon...but i am still unsure about intake of dairy products...i am taking the AlphaLipid milk daily as additional supplement..i am wondering if i should stop taking it?

what do you guys think? would taking milk makes my healing process slow?

have a good weekend. it's good to know i can write all these things to people who can relate. :)

week 3

it felt like time was really envious of me. the more i think of making more time to heal from this illness, the more i get hold back.

the last 2 weeks of Ramadhan went really fast, with me most of the time either breaking fast in the car or in the office with junks before going home at about 9pm daily.

i sometimes hate the job i used to love so much. but i hate to know i am not getting better as well.

but going back late everyday + barely having time to moisturize the whole body + not eating properly = worsened condition.

i know i am now supposed to start taking only 1mm twice a day but i felt like i want to continue taking 2mm twice a day - i want to see the improvements i made 2 weeks ago...would that be ok?

anyway..here's my bad condition after a long day at work in pants and no time to moisturize...

right leg

left leg

i have some time before bed time now, i'd like to catch up on more inspiring stories and quit feeling sorry on myself.

take care and have a great week ahead!

week 2

i was too busy the past week to update this blog. but praise to God, i think i am seeing improvements :)

hopefully i will be able to upload some pics tomorrow.

another week left before raya and i do want to feel a little more confident :)

have a good week everyone!

one week

it's officially a week now since i've started the OLIVENOL livin' liquid as sent by ManHon and team.

i don't see much improvements, as the condition looks more reddish and dry. i have to put more moisturizer - usually after shower and putting on moisturizer the skin look really red. but will continute taking 2ml twice a day for 2 more weeks as instructed.

my worst areas are of course the legs - i think it's because it's mostly covered throughout the day.

while my scalp is much less flaky after the henna hair treatment and i will go for second treatment next week.
anyway here are enlarged photos of my current condition:

right leg

left leg

right elbow

left elbow

the package

i received this in the mail :

thank you very much you wonderful people at Triniaire! :)

will start tonight, God willing. the dosage i was told to take:

For 3 weeks: Take 2 ml / TWICE a day
After 3 weeks: Take 1 ml/ TWICE a day

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as for my condition, realized that within 24 hours the patches on the legs and back are getting worse. it's red all over and the itchiness really drove me crazy. i wonder if its caused by the combination of the extra cold office air cond + driving in the sun and getting stuck in jam (close to 2 hours to be exact, with added stress).

looking at the skin conditions sometimes makes me sad. but mostly hurt me. deep inside i am hurt to see myself this ugly.

anyhow i am really tempted to reach for the medicine cabinet. the beprosalic and daivobet cream are kept there. i know steroids are bad. my skin is so much thinner now, among others.

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pls share your strength and hope with me. i can be really weak and fragile.

first glance

today was exceptionally cold at the office. the building maintenance must have just serviced the air cond or changed the filter.

so for us P patients, the colder the air cond is, the worse it is for the skin. the skin dry up really fast and i wasn't comfortable at all. thank God for handy travel-size lotion i carry around - which i forget sometimes...by the way, the lotion/cream that works for me best is Nivea, not even emu oil...

nevertheless it was a pretty productive day. i helped review and restructured a paper we are submitting for our csr efforts and i personally think it sounds quite impressive :) hehe. anywhow can't wait to see what the bosses think.

driving back thru federal hway was really interesting. seriously if you don't have enough patience - don't drive in KL..hehe. but to release the stress i went on to work out for an hour before break fast. not bad of a stamina for a person who's fasting :)

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so it's my sixth day taking the OLIVENOL livin' pills, first day that i'm taking 2 in the morning during sahur and 2 after break fast.

as promised, (and really, i don't mean to gross anyone out :p) here's a peek at my current conditions:

the right leg - close up

the left leg - close up

the elbows

that's all i have for now. next i'll share some tips on how i maintain my scalp - which is at this point clear of any breakout. i am also curious to read other P patients' tips :)

have a great thursday everyone!

the story begins

my name is Ms. W, i'm a soon-to-be 29 year old malay lady who is full of life. i am an extrovert, i love my job and blessed with wonderful family and friends. i love activities under the sun but has come to terms that i can't do them too much.

i am a Psoriasis patient - a chronic skin disease that i was diagnosed with at the end of 2003. the disease which has made me battle with my self image, confidence, faith in God, and the ideal life that i have always wished for. it probably has to do with my genes as my mom said one of my great aunt had "skin conditions" but i somewhow know it's my stressful life at work that triggered it most.

Psoriasis, or P as i would refer to it from now onwards, has changed my life tremendously. in the first year or so i was so depressed i would rather be at home locked in my room and limit any social contact with guys.

but years have gone by. i have experienced a stage when my P is totally stable - i.e. i can be in my short sleeves, shorts, without feeling embarassed. but i have also gone through a phase where NOTHING works and it's hard to find a smooth part on my skin.

hopefully along the way i can share with readers a little more about the kind of treatment i've gone through.

but for now i'd like to talk about the new pills i have started taking only for about 5 days now - the OLIVENOL livin'. my parents was at the pharmacy one day - helpless to help me find something that might work. they are such angels, always trying to find out if there's anything that can ease my pain.

and so i went online, viewed their website and found out more about OLIVENOL livin'.

i know i shouldn't be putting too much hope on seeing significant improvements after taking OLIVENOL livin'. but one can only be hopeful. like mom used to say "Only Allah knows best, so do not give up hope".

i am inspired by the sufferings other P patients go through and i shall not give up hope.

at this point my P condition is pretty stable (no new spots) but the red dry patches just won't go away! it feels ok when i put lotion over it...but when it's dry it can drive me mad with itch!

in my next entry i will share some pics of my affected areas and hopefully in the weeks to come, we can see improvements in the pictures...