hello february!

before i realize it it's already february already.

other than my extended work trip, i had a lot of family matters to handle at home as well. sometimes i feel like breaking down and just cry away. but i didn't have much options as i had to be the strong bone.

i am more emotionally stable now with mom recovering from her minor surgery.

as for my condition. it's stable. i am hoping that it will stay so for a longer time as i am happy to go work out in short sleeves and don't have to scratch my scalp so often..

will post pictures soon.

i hope everyone's doing fine. :)

take care. Happy Chinese New Year to everyone, drive safely ya!

a cheat

i endured one of the most painful period a couple weeks ago. no moisturizer works on the skin, every single part of my back was peeling off and each time i bend over even to climb up stairs of perform my prayers i will be holding back my "ouch" and "isk". it was painful. and sometimes i just burst out crying at home.

every single part of my affected skin was peeling off and when its dry its cracked up, all stretched and it felt like i was going to burst.

while work is winding down for 2009 and i was all happy about holidays etc, i couldn't avoid but to drop by pantai for some beprosalic.

i know i shouldn't. but i only needed a little bit. you don't know how it feels unless you've been thru it. i had fought against taking bepro for about 6-7 months but this time i had to...

but i have stopped using after a few days as i just need to feel smooth skin. i still have breakout. but at least i wont be embarassed to go to a spa at this point of time.

i am still consuming the olivenol pills. think im down to the last strip but will drop by the pharmacy this week.

i had a wonderful vacation although i had to hide my hands from the girls - my elbow was still bad.

anyway here's a look at my current condition:

working out routines

when the clock strikes 5 pm in the evening i will get jittery. i am addicted again, to working out. i was once much healthier when i work out at least twice a week. when i stopped, immediately gained weight. and after a prolonged period of not working out, my P strikes back even worse than before. last time i could wear short sleeves and never worry about showing a little bit of skin. but now...it's long sleeve all the way as my elbow is pretty bad....

so i thank you for your encouragements, dear readers. i do intend to keep fit again and hopefully will clear out some P. as much as i can i will try to maintain this routine. it will be hard, especially when my calendar from january to july involves extensive traveling. but i must try my best. if i don;t need this money i would have really just focus on working out and eating healthy and get well.... :)

i am always trying to be positive. but it's hard you know?
being in a line where i am always in the spot light...meeting people...some are beautiful girls. some are really good looking men. although they can't see my P (thank God for the sort of smooth skin on my face) i still feel inferior. i am sure u know what i mean...

maybe olivenol's effect is a little slow on me...but actually for now i think my skin is less flaky due to olivenol. which is good. but the dryness can sometimes hurt so bad i feel like i can't even bend down. after trying a few more alternative moisturizer, i think i will definitely stick with nivea creme. it's the only thing that gives me a good night sleep and comfort all day long.

i will post pics tomorrow. my phone is totally dead for me to snap pics...and it's not like i fancy looking at my legs anyway :(

i wonder what happen to ManHon and team? i hope i am not disappointing them in this experiment...

stagnant

i couldn't bare even looking at myself.
the flare on my body is not getting any better.

well, its less flaky. but it's all red and itchy! i don't even want to take picture of it. it's as if i am soaked in blood or red ink.

i am really sad with what's going on. especially when my diet totally exclude red meat, seafood (seashells) and dairy products.

i even take the olivenol pills with fish oil and never miss moisturizing. i have spent so much on moisturizer.

i am contemplating of going to my skin specialist again, dr chow at pantai. but the last visit (which was sooo long ago) was really hurtful. he was quite negative about me recovering. and somehow tearing down my confidence.

if you were in my shoes, and really in dire need to see a skin specialist, who would you recommend?

end of year

i am back from my work trip. what was a last minute arrangements turned into an eventful trip. and i am thankful i went.

it was winter and my flares were bad. i had nothing else to eat but seafood, and the fresh shrimp made it worse.

i am back and trying to work things out with my daily food diet. i need to know what to avoid and what to consume.

as the year is coming to an end i am also called to reflect on my year.

i think it's a great year nevertheless.
my aim next year is to clear out these flares. and to achieve what i really hope for.

take care!

raya haji

happy aidil adha to all Muslims.

the raya haji celebration as it is usually referred to, is all about making and appreciating sacrifices.

life requires certain sacrifices. and in the end, it is Him who knows best.

i am doing ok generally. have started to consume fish oil along with olivenol pills.
however the dryness of my skin can only be treated with nivea creme although i have tried so many alternatives. i guess it works best for me.

have a good long weekend to all.
and happy holidays to those who will be going for vacation this december!

the new stock

i came home today to find 2 packets of olivenol pills :) i am so happy to receive them. thank you very much ManHon and team at triniare :)

what i like most about these pills is that i can take them anywhere when i travel - especially overseas.

my current condition - after shower and putting on lotion:

unfortunately i am traveling again this winter. december to march non stop. it's a little scary because my skin would crack - especially my back and when i'm out at work the whole day i couldn't possible take off all my winter coat and sweater in the toilet to put on lotion...
any tips for me to keep my skin moisturized all day during winter.

have a good weekend. :)

updates

hello all!

i am much free-er now and won't be traveling till next year...
i have also resumed working out at the all women fitness studio. i feel good..

i have also finished reading this book! i digest each page slowly and make sense of each chapter...the writing style is simple, yet it's like playing darts. it hit me right on the bull's eye. things i wouldn't have said were mentioned clearly. so yeah. i am one of the P stats out there. i just wish...i'm still in the US where there's so much more alternatives to treating P. but i'm not...

the olivenol supply is running low but thank god i have some olivenol tablets which was purchased much earlier...

the condition - still very red...don't know if it's any different than my previous post...so please tell me what you think? here are close ups:

i love milk so much that i almost cried knowing i have to give it up. it's been 2 weeks without milk for me now. when i crave for it too much i'll have soya bean...avoiding meat is no issue for me but going for fish totally is a little too hard..i still have a bit of chicken now and then..

i was doing a work plan for 2010 at the office earlier.... and i just realized that i will be 30 next year. can you believe it?

wow. while other people are busy settlling down, i am busy battling P. people always ask why i am still single. apparently i am not bad looking ;) and have quite an interesting personality (ok they told me these things over and over again) but i am now trying to accept that and to love myself a little more. maybe by doing that i will then attract love?

i know i am mushy, i can't help it. i am a hopeless romantic.

anyway..sorry to ManHon and team for the slow updates. i always plan to update but sometimes when i got home from work i just go straight to my books. currently reading "the time traveler's wife". wonder if i would finish it in time to watch the movie? hehe.

have a good week ahead! take care :)

back from long absence

i just got back from overseas again. 2 weeks in a row - to a cold place. the one thing i hate is really - the skin gets really dry.

it's so much comfort to be back where it's warm and nice.

i use lots of lotion. the skin is more comfortable now. but the red patches are not gone.

i finally got my books!
i started reading them last night and will hope to finish the first book soon.

it's true what the author say - only we can control how we feel inside.

i am trying to think that i am also beautiful. i have a good heart. and i am capable of falling in love and being loved. i remember the times when i was happy. the psoriasis went away quite a bit. maybe that's what i need. to be in a relationship again...

anyhow. will post pictures tomorrow.

cheers!

back home

i have been away for outstation work for a week and didnt have time to update much. I feel bad. There's not much difference, maybe my skin is less red now but still require much lotion.

I am traveling for work again this wknd and am hoping i will have time to share more stories.

Take care everyone.