week 3

it felt like time was really envious of me. the more i think of making more time to heal from this illness, the more i get hold back.

the last 2 weeks of Ramadhan went really fast, with me most of the time either breaking fast in the car or in the office with junks before going home at about 9pm daily.

i sometimes hate the job i used to love so much. but i hate to know i am not getting better as well.

but going back late everyday + barely having time to moisturize the whole body + not eating properly = worsened condition.

i know i am now supposed to start taking only 1mm twice a day but i felt like i want to continue taking 2mm twice a day - i want to see the improvements i made 2 weeks ago...would that be ok?

anyway..here's my bad condition after a long day at work in pants and no time to moisturize...

right leg

left leg

i have some time before bed time now, i'd like to catch up on more inspiring stories and quit feeling sorry on myself.

take care and have a great week ahead!

week 2

i was too busy the past week to update this blog. but praise to God, i think i am seeing improvements :)

hopefully i will be able to upload some pics tomorrow.

another week left before raya and i do want to feel a little more confident :)

have a good week everyone!

one week

it's officially a week now since i've started the OLIVENOL livin' liquid as sent by ManHon and team.

i don't see much improvements, as the condition looks more reddish and dry. i have to put more moisturizer - usually after shower and putting on moisturizer the skin look really red. but will continute taking 2ml twice a day for 2 more weeks as instructed.

my worst areas are of course the legs - i think it's because it's mostly covered throughout the day.

while my scalp is much less flaky after the henna hair treatment and i will go for second treatment next week.
anyway here are enlarged photos of my current condition:

right leg

left leg

right elbow

left elbow

stress?

people often say stress is an outcome of an uncontrolled emotions.
people often say we have to control how we feel and avoid unnecessary stress.

but people are made differently. each of us reacts to different pressures differently. some people are cool as ice, some people jumps at the slightest sight of an unfortunate outcome.

it is easy for people to ask you to calm down and relax. it's easy for them to tell you there is nothing to be stressed out about.

but they don't know how it feels. because they don't have P.

i cried myself to bed last night. having spent a good 20 over minutes putting on the moisturizer on my skin.
feeling ugly. deep to the bone.

having to just turn 29 makes it worse. that's one year to the big 3-o.
i am ugly. and single at this point of time.

u women out there knows how it's like. u want to feel beautiful. u want your other half to tell you that you are beautiful.

well having this ugly patches on tummy, back and legs are not a beautiful sight.
that i can tell you.

i have this macho, miss independent women outlook when i am at work. but i can't hold it for long. i am fragile. and helpless.

i need to get over my P condition. even if i don't get cured 100% i wouldn't mind just tiny spots.
it's too early to see OLIVENOL results.

when i read other P patients' blog and watch their videos, i get so inspired.
then when work and stress piled up, i lose the momentum again.
sigh.
this is a phase.